Stuckness. You are in a bad, bad relationship but you can't get out. Stuck. You want to let go of an emotionally painful experience but you can't let it go. Stuck. You are working at a job that you really can't stand but you can't leave. Stuck. You are trying to earn more money from a new part time business but have no sales. Stuck. Stuckness may not be a word in the dictionary, but we all know how it feels. Just like the wheels on a car that keep turning over and over again, we all get stuck sometimes. Just as individuals get stuck sometimes, cars get stuck too. Using the car analogy, let's look at the factors in this stuckness. There is the car, the driver, the wheels, the weather, other drivers and the road. There are at least 6 factors related to the car being stuck. Similarly in life, being stuck is seldom related to one factor. When we are stuck we forget that getting unstuck first involves identifying all of the factors holding us back. Once we know the factors and why we are stuck then we can begin to compile possible solutions to those problems. We get exhausted and overwhelmed with being stuck because we focus on one or two factors without realizing that there are other factors also keeping us stuck. Here are some ideas on how to get unstuck. 1. Understand the several factors affecting the stuckness. Write down all of these factors on a piece of paper. No problem can be solved until it can be named. 2. Next, choose the factor that you have the most control over. Then move to the next factor, and so forth. Develop approaches for dealing with each stuck factor. For example, maybe you can get a new partner, maybe your partner can change a little bit, or maybe you can get a job transfer within your company. 3. Don't try to push yourself too hard when you are stuck, wait until one of the factors changes and then push. 4. Understand how you got stuck in the first place, and then avoid these in the future. Perhaps when you took the job you knew it wasn't right for you…learn to listen and nurture your inner compass. 5. If you are super stuck and nothing you try seems to work, seek out the help of a wise person. Consider talking to a minister, good friend, family member, or psychotherapist to help you develop a plan to get out of your stuckness. One final closing thought: All stuckness is not bad, sometimes stuckness is camouflaged as a life lesson. Once we learn the lesson then our stuckness melts away. Being stuck is part of living. The person who stands still in the wilderness may never get spurs but they miss out on all of the beautiful things if they just stand still. May you keep love, hope, faith, and courage as you continue on your path. Sincerely, Brian Brian L. Ragsdale, PhD
Credit and Information: This is a newsletter from the group private practice of Dr. Brian L. Ragsdale and Associates. The information shared in this publication is not intended or to be construed as professional advice. © 2009 Dr. Brian Ragsdale and Associate, PC. 166 W Washington, Chicago IL, 60602. 312-551-9300, All rights reserved. brian@drbrianragsdale.com. For more information about our counseling and psychological assessments you can learn more about Talk It Out TM at www.drbrianragsdale.com. If you would like to share this article, please feel free to do so as long as it contains the complete credit and information.
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